Etiquette is NONSENSE

Today I am going to talk to you about something no one ever wants to talk about. I am going to talk to you about:

FARTING!

Hands up: how many of you have secretly farted and kept quiet about it?

Isn’t it funny how we as a society made up this rule about such a simple bodily function as a disgrace? Why aren’t swallowing or blinking your eyes not also a disgrace?

Why do we fart? Gases are produced in our bodies when it breaks down the food that we eat.

The thing is you cannot NOT fart. The air needs to get out. Releasing gas is always better than holding it in.

I remember a story a friend once told me. She was driving in an all-women carpool one day and the topic of farting came up. Especially when you are in a relationship and/or newly married. The consensus was that you should never fart in front of or in the presence of your partner. It was then when my friend admitted she actually farts when her husband is around. She was met by a gasps and shocked expressions!

Farting kind of reminds me of that brilliant story by Roald Dahl: The BFG. He refers to it as “whizzpopping”:

“Why nasty?” asked the BFG, frowning.
“Because,” Sophie said, blushing a little, “if they go down instead of up, they’ll be coming out somewhere else with an even louder and ruder noise.”
“A whizzpopper!” cried the BFG, beaming at her. “Us giants is making whizzpoppers all the time! Whizzpopping is a sign of happiness. It is music to our ears! You surely is not telling me that a little whizzpopping is forbidden among human beans?”
“It is considered extremely rude,” Sophie said.
“But you is whizzpopping, is you not, now and again?” asked the BFG.
“Everyone is whizzpopping, if that’s what you call it,” Sophie said. “Kings and Queens are whizzpopping. Presidents are whizzpopping. Glamorous film stars are whizzpopping. Little babies are whizzpopping. But where I come from, it is not polite to talk about it.”
“Redunculous!” said the BFG. “If everyone is making whizzpoppers, then why not talk about it?”

I have often wondered about this. If everyone DOES it anyway, why do we make such a fuss? Why are kids teased when they accidentally fart in class? Everyone farts! At least our farts aren’t the cause of global warming!