Author Archives: dada4nonsense
I thought I might share some of our South African humour with you.
So, if you don’t know this by now, we as South Africans are notorious for our humour especially when it comes to the serious stuff in life. Some would say it’s a bit inapproriate, but that is just how we deal with stuff.
We did it with the listeriosis scare in 2018 cracking jokes about polony. Here is just one of the classics:
And now it is coronavirus’ turn.
The think the joke is really on us this year.
I remember in February we all made fun of the Australians for panic buying toilet paper! Fast forward a month later and a whole bunch of our own people fell for that trap!
I mean, really it is one of the most stupid things I’ve seen in a very long time. People panic buying not food or alcohol but TOILET PAPER.
Here is some more toilet humour:
I feel so guilty. I cannot even remember the last time I published something.
But life is pretty hectic as it is… as you all might know.
A few months ago we had loadshedding which means they switch your electricity off according to a schedule, so I could not risk trying to go on the internet.
Now, we are in lockdown because of youknowwhat. I work at a newspaper and all we ever write about these days is the stupid virus. I’m so sick of it!
Anyway, so this is what is keeping me busy this year:
I’m trying to write a film script based on my grandmother’s life. But I’m REALLY struggling.
At first it was sort of easy because the competition I’m doing it for only required a partial script (20 pages) for a short film but I started too late last year and it was not close to finished.
So, I figured I could just carry on and enter this year. Until I found out they changed the brief: now they want a full script of 90 pages!!!
I have this awful feeling I won’t be able to finish it – even if I throw all my ideas together I still won’t have even close to enough pages.
Plus, I basically only have an outline of my grandmother’s life and it’s not like I can just ask her about it, because she passed away in 2016.
So why am I doing it you ask?
Well, it’s actually my aunt’s idea. She figured my grandmother’s life story could make for some riveting screen time and because I have a knack at writing, I am the lucky winner.
So yeah that’s what I have been up to the last year.
And oh wait, I also started a book club with a university pal of mine. It’s still early days, but it’s really fun. That’s why I haven’t really been posting book reviews here lately. Or maybe I’m just a bit over it? I don’t know. I’m taking a break from that.
I’m currently reading the classic thriller “Strangers on a train”. But I think I’m going to finish it tonight. Very easy read.
I did the 52 week Gratitude Jar Challenge for 2019 and the plan was to go through it on New Year’s Eve, but I had such a horrible headache and my dog was in hysterics because of the fireworks so I skipped it.
The idea was to write something on a piece of paper that I was grateful for or stood out for me every week for a year.
Mine is not as colourful as the picture shows, but here goes:
We have been blessed with 3 days’ rain.
- Zumba classes started again.
- Mom loves her belated Christmas present: the whole Keeping up with Appearances series.
We just found out that my brother has got his girlfriend pregnant. I’m glad my mom is finally going to be a grandmother but not under this circumstances.
Took my first sick day from work. Luckily the doctor wasn’t cross with me.
Went to see Agatha Christie’s play “Mousetrap” based on her story “Three blind mice”. Mel sê dit was bietjie lank.
I went to see the Nosferatu Silent Horror Symphony at the Brooklyn theatre with my friends Nicolene and Marilyn. It was quite the experience. Nosferatu is a black and white silent movie based on Bram Stoker’s Dracula. There were musicians who added the music to the movie with all kinds of instruments. The highlight was the theremin!
- Lekker pampoenkoekies geëet.
- My brother got engaged.
Oupa het geval en sy heup gebreek, maar gelukkig was die operasie ‘n sukses.
- Oupa moet nou in outehuis gaan bly.
- I decided to stop attending support group every week.
Had my first sleepover in a very long time at bestie’s house and we watched Once upon a time. Trying to get out of my comfort zone.
- Plus: Subscribed to New York Times crosswords, which means crosswords galore!
- Negative: Dad was diagnosed with Parkinson’s.
My dad turned 69 this year. We celebrated by playing some Rummikub.
Felt like someone played an April Fool’s Joke on me. Wanted to play Bones 9 DVD, but as it turns out there are somethings like region codes and if your player doesn’t have it, it is not compatible. Luckily, we could play it on my parents’ machine but it has a terrible echo.
Bought a second-hand Dr Seuss book for Danté, my brother’s girlfriend’s first child.
- Had my first hummus.
- Our Chinese waiter who could speak Afrikaans fluently.
- Saved a bat’s life. It was clinging to the side of our swimming pool. I used the braai tongs to lift its tail up and over.
- Went to see stage production of Chichago with bestie. “They both reached for the gun, the gun…”
- Held a baby shower for one of our members at support group. Angela baked such a lovely cake.
- Het 5 brandwurms by Aqua gesien.
Finished typing my grandmother’s memoirs for the rest of the family. It was one of those things I said I would do, but didn’t.
- Decided to vote in the election. It is my feminist duty!
- Drove down to Uitenhage and saw the Gariep Dam and “Vallei van Verlatenheid” along the way.
My only remaining grandparent turned 95 this year! I took time off work to go and celebrate this milestone with him. We did a lot of sightseeing during our road trip and I got to see the Owl house and I bought myself some Toby jugs.
Paid tribute to my support group with Faith Hill’s “There you’ll be” my favourite song for now.
Uiteindelik besluit wat ek wil maak vir die Baby Shower: ‘n blommekransie. Het begin hekel aan blommetjies.
While my parents were away on holiday, I had to feed myself somehow. I was planning to make stir fry one night, but there was only pork mince in the fridge. So I got the crazy idea of making my first batch of pork mince balls.
Snaaksie: Wilde beeste is “perde me horings”.
My mom and I went to my brother’s fiancé’s Baby Shower. It was a bit awkward as we do not know her family at all. This is what I made: a floral head band.
My aunt has been pestering me for a while now to write a script based on the true life events of my paternal grandmother: she grew up in an orphanage during the Great Depression and Great Drought in the 1930s. So I finally decided to give it a go…
- I was officially welcomed into the production team at work.
- Coworker lent me his Calvin & Hobbss comics.
Hmmm. This inscription makes no sense “Dagboek amper klaar” I cannot for the life of me remember what I meant with this? Did I perhaps meant I was almost finished with writing the script?
- Diané is here! My brother’s baby girl was born on 9 July 02:40 and weighed 3.64kg.
- The weirdest thing happened to me. I found one of my ear rings that went missing, but it’s where I found it that is so weird. At work we all have our own parking space and one morning when I got out of my car and looked down, there it was! I could have driven over it, but I haven’t!
- Uiteindelik geleer hoe om te Deep Edge in Design en dit reggekry – soveel makliker as wat ek gedink het. Almal was baie impressed.
- Ek en Melani het vir die 50ste herdenking van die maanlanding na Marilyn se company se kunsuitstalling gegaan. Daar was SO baie mense!
- Vir die eerste keer in ‘n Indiese restaurant geëet – die kos is baie lekker!
- Moemin! I got to watch some episodes of my favourite childhood series which I got from someone at work. For some unexplained reason you cannot find the series in Afrikaans anywhere.
- I got a raise at work.
- I am still a junior subeditor, but I had to read all the pages alone on Friday.
- Ek drink nooit tee by die werk nie, maar hierdie week kon ek met my nuwe Kansa-beker.
9 Aug Women’s Day marked the one month anniversary of my brother’s baby girl’s, Diané. I still cannot get over the fact that he is a father now, and I am an aunt!
Went to visit one of our therapists at her home to drop off some stuff for a charity sale. Silly, clumsy me dropped everything when getting out of the car. We had a long talk over a cup of tea and I got to meet one of our support group members’ new born baby.
I have been sick for a week and instead of me forcing myself to go to work, I went to the doctor instead. And not a moment too soon! I was booked off for two days because I had a case of tonsilitis!
I helped out at our charity sale and got some books I used to read when I was very young and we visited our local library. I was also gifted a painting of a ghost ship that made quite an impression on me.
- Said goodbye to one of our subeditors. Everyone is sorry to see her go, she gave me some good advice.
- Went for a test drive for a Suzuki Jimny. Didn’t go as planned, because now I do not know which car I want – I just know it is not a Jimny.
- One of my university friends invited me to come to his choir’s performance. It was brilliant – I just wished I congratulated him afterwards and not on Facebook.
I work as a subeditor at a community newspaper and they loved my title suggestion for a front page story: “Rus sag, sagmoedige reus”.
Ek het vir my niggie Roché gaan kuier met haar seuntjies se verjaarsdagpartytjie. Hulle verjaar saam met my in September. Was maar awkward aan die begin, maar het later lekker gekuier saam met van haar oud-musiekstudente.
- I turned 30 this year and decided I wanted to hold a braai on Saturday night with all the yummy things.
- Sunday, my bestie and I went to an 80s vs 90s musical show and it was wonderful! The only downside was the place we went to didn’t serve cocktails 😦
- Another downside is that we finished the last season of Bones.
I got a new role at work today. There is an intern and I have to train him in writing the best copy for our newspaper – but oh, he is so annoying!
- On my way home on a Friday afternoon a bee flew into my window and stung me! This was the last straw and I took it as a sign to get a new car with air con.
- I finally went to the doctor when the bee sting just became worst. Turns out it wasn’t a bee – it was a wasp – ouch!
- I asked one of our more experienced subeditors to help me with a cryptic crossword at work.
- It was 37 degrees Celcius on Monday and I asked my mom to do my hair up in a Dutch girl style – something I’ve never done before! Everyone at work loved it!
- It doesn’t happen often when I try my hand in the kitchen but I had this wonderful idea of making beef, carrot, chutney meatballs. Or as we say in Afrikaans: frikadelle!
- Bought myself a car for my 30th birthday. Ain’t it purrty?
I call it “Die Rooi Gevaar” Afrikaans for Red Danger. It’s a tongue-in-cheek reference to what people used to refer to Communism in our culture.
- My birthday prezzie: My bestie gifted me an Amusement Part scratch off scene.
- After a seriously long drought season, we received our first rains: 48mm!
- I don’t think I’ve ever laughed as much at work. We had to edit the story of Tjortsie – a pet chicken. The journalist who wrote it certainly made our day – and week!
- Had my first swim since winter has ended and summer started.
Went to my first German market at the German Old Age Homes and I bought some yummy cookies and a Nut cracker figure.
- Went to pick up my BRAND NEW CAR! Here I am ringing the bell at the car dealership.
So many people congratulating me on my new car. I must say it is such a relief to have an air con in this heatwave.
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful rain! It rained non-stop for a week. Some parts of the city even flooded!
- Have you ever wondered where the term “bookWORM” comes from? Well, I actually stumbled upon one while leafing through an old book. At first I thought my mind was playing tricks on me, but realized there was a teeny tiny worm walking on the page!!!
- I dyed my hair with a hidden rainbow theme again. Boo yah!
My eerste braai gepak. Ek en my ma het gesukkel om die vuur aan die gang gekry, maar kon darem want firelighters was oud. Toe ek vir pa gaan roep het om vuur aan te steek, toe sê hy ons moet solank bid?!
- I remember growing up, we had a toy kaleidoscope and it was a frantic mission to get one for my brother’s girls. (I ended up buying the last two at Toys R Us: one for Danté and one for me!
- Of course it was Diané’s first Christmas and my mom and I went completely overboard in buying presents.
- Christmas day was also the last day I would drive with my old car and part with it.
I can tell you this much, I wasn’t sorry in the least! I was completely drenched in sweat and of course I got lost again! Having air con and a navigation system in my car are two things I will never take for granted!
Ek is ‘n nonsens versamelaar. Ek versamel graag nonsens woorde.
Dit hoef nie noodwendig nonsens te wees nie, party woorde klink en lyk so snaaks dat ek nie anders kan om dit as nonsens te beskou nie.
Hier is ‘n paar Afrikaanse “nonsens” woorde:
a = aanstons, almiskie, altoos, atiesjoe
b = befomfaai/befonkfaai, bokkapater, boksemdais, bogsnuiter
d = druipstert
e = élan
f = fantasmagories, fielafooi, flonker
g = gatkruiper, gedoriewaar, geradbraak, ginnegaap
h = heet, hensop, hinkepink, hittete, hoeka, holderstebolder, husse
i = indompel
j = jakopeweroë
k = kwaksalwer, kasarm, katswink, kerjakker, kiertsregop,
l = lae lak, lieplapper, lilliputter
m = mandjiedans, maaifoedie
n = neffens, nonsies, noppies
o = oksel, olé, omgeëllie, ondeund, oppiep
p = petalje, paloeka, pardoems, pê, piets, piepie
r = rabbedoe, radbraak
s = skoor (skoor soek, skoorvoetend, skoorsteen), siebie
t = trekpleister, traktaaitjie
w = wêla kapêla
I am a nonsense collector. I collect nonsense words.
Remember that old telephone books (A-Z) people used to write in all their contacts? I have one too, except I write all the nonsense words I can find in it.
I’ve just updated my nonsense alphabet. Feel free to check it out! Please note: not all of the words has the meaning of nonsense, some I include because they sound so nonsensical – like made up words.
Most people have heard about 1984 or Nineteen eighty-four: Orwell’s dystopian world ruled by Big Brother and constant surveillance.
What most people don’t know is that Huxley wrote about a dystopian world ruled by pleasure – a predecessor to Orwell’s novel.
Synopsis: Far in the future, the World Controllers have created the ideal society. Through clever use of genetic engineering, brainwashing and recreational sex and drugs, all its members are happy consumers. Bernard Marx seems alone harbouring an ill-defined longing to break free. A visit to one of the few remaining Savage Reservations where the old, imperfect life continues may be the cure for his distress…
In Huxley’s Brave New World, there is no family. No mother, no father because everyone belongs to everyone.
In the world of books or philosophy perhaps there is the constant argument of which world would win? Which future world has become our reality? My money is on Huxley.
We live in a world ruled by consumerism of wanting more of; a world of comfort, pleasure, constantly staring at screens.
I read a book a while back Amusing ourselves to death by Neil Postman. That’s when I first learned of Huxley’s alternative future. What it basically comes down to is this: In Orwell’s 1984, people are controlled through pain. Contrary to that is Huxley’s future: people are controlled by pleasure and distractions.
There are several references to Shakespeare in Huxley’s novel. The title is inspired by what Miranda says in The Tempest: “O brave new world, that has such people in’t!” The Savage often quotes this in the novel.
What I absolutely loved about this book: is the nonsensical word “zippicamiknicks” (women’s underwear) I can add to my nonsense collection.
First published: 1932
Baby, breathe behind
Four get goodbye!
I will keep kissing
Come on over.
Think about Someone Sweet
white wild waters.
All Angels* are
sins Dirty Easy
we Cry. we Die.
Let Life be Like Love
Make Man My
to Summer. Super!
We? What? When?
*Oops! It should be Angels not Angers. My bad!
I read this book 10 years ago and decided to revisit it again. Still brilliant!
Backcover: Set in the closing months of World War II, this is the story of a bombardier named Yossarian who is furious because thousands of people he has never met are trying to kill him. His real problem is not the enemy – it is his own army which keeps increasing the number of missions the men must fly to complete their service. If Yossarian makes any attempts to excuse himself from the perilous missions then he is caught in Catch-22: if he flies he is crazy, and doesn’t have to, but if he doesn’t want to he must be sane, and has to. That’s some catch…
If both Stephen King and Harper Lee recommends this book, then it must be good!
First published: 1961
Hi! It’s me! I know I’ve been gone a long time, but I had some trouble with my internet connection and aging technology.
I went on holiday in May (mostly to go see my grandfather who turned 95 years old this year!) and during my stay I thought about buying something that I could keep as a memento.
Only problem was, Uitenhage (that’s where most of my family is based) doesn’t really have a huge tourism market or curio shops. The closest they have is an antique shop.
So when I entered the antique shop, I was surprised to find these Toby jugs in one corner.
Actually, I shouldn’t be surprised, there were a lot of Britians who once occupied South Africa and never really left… Uitenhage used to have a flourishing train station and work shop – I know, because my grandfather worked his whole life for Spoornet. He actually retired as a superintendent at the Uitenhage train station. His job was to make sure that his people built the train carriages according to the specifications.
(Sadly, the train station and workshop have fallen in disrepair. But I heard someone decided to save the original buildings and are now restoring them.)
Anyway, back to the antique shop. I found these miniature Toby jugs there. I always liked the history behind them. Toby jugs are, of course, associated with Britian where most were manufactured. Three of the four I got has the mark of Staffordshire potters on their bases.
I’m not sure when these were made and how old they actually are. The salesman told me back in the day one could fetch R195. But I only paid R10 each. But I don’t really care how much they are worth. I’m more interested in their history and what they represent.
What do you think? Aren’t they adorable?