My first and probably my last massage – Sorry Mel!
Yesterday I went for my first and probably my last full body massage. Mel, my colleague, gave me a voucher for my birthday that I could spend on a massage.
First of all, I did not know it would be a full body massage. I just wanted someone to massage my neck and shoulders.
Secondly, I didn’t know it was supposed to hurt so much. I think the masseuse gave me a few bruises!
Thirdly, I tried my bestest to relax, but it’s kinda hard to do that when someone is torturing the hell out of you. I kept wondering if she was going to end up walking on me – like in the movies.
Please take note: I’m one of those really pathetic people that’ll rather suffer through the pain than say “Ouch!” I once had blisters above my eyes because the wax was too hot when I had my eyebrows waxed.
When she started up my legs towards my thighs, I wanted to burst out laughing because I kept thinking about what the comedian, Michael McIntyre, said about his first full body massage experience. He was staying in a hotel just before a show and was a little stressed out about it. His wife suggested to try out a full body massage at the hotel spa, because it is supposed to be very relaxing. Well, he went and it was nothing but. He said every time the masseuse went up his thighs he had a near heart ache because her hands kept going “dangerously close to my balls”.
The music was soothing I’ll admit and when she didn’t press too hard it was nice. I just kept thinking how the hell does this woman expect me to fall asleep???
I think the first time I relaxed is when she told me it was over. Phew!