The collective noun of sperm

* Just a quick update of my life: I just found out that I got a job. I’m still in shock. So if this post doesn’t make any sense, I apologize in advance.

I attended an art exhibition at UNISA on Saturday 30 November. One of the mini exhibitions consisted of “fantasy furniture”: one beanbag looked like a ____ of sperm. When I had to write the review later at home, I couldn’t think what is the collective noun of sperm.

Sperm beanbag and penises


When I “googled” it I came across this awesome website listing existing and suggested collective nouns (later in the post).

I also did a little game on Facebook asking my friends what they think is the collective noun of sperm and to make it creative. One friend suggested a “mouthful” (Ugh!).

Anyway the collective noun(s) of sperm are:

A shot of …

A load of …

An explosion of …

A wad of …

A kleenex of sperm (haha! that one made me laugh!)

Well, now you know.


Anyway to the next part of my post. Back to that website I told you about. Here’s a list of mostly suggested collective nouns that literally just put a smile on my face.

An abandonment of orphans (awful, but true)

A buttload of proctologists … (haha! loving it!)

An absence of waiters (true in certain diners)

An ambush of widows (look out bachelors!)

An attitude of teenagers

A blush of embarrassments

A boo of surprises (so cute!)

A camp of transvestites

A collective of nouns (the best!)

A crash of software

A dawn of morning glories (oh, the morning glories!)

A desperation of divorcees

A desperation of voters (that is going to be us South Africans at the elections next year)

A dose of doctors

A flood of plumbers

A geek of engineers (my dad is the ultimate!)

A glut of pleasure

A groan of puns 

A gross of farts

A guilt of pleasures (I feel so guilty)

A handful of palm readers (haha!)

A hiss of lisps 

A hug of teddy bears (from the Teddy Bear Encyclopedia)

An incision of surgeons

A jam of tarts (prostitutes)

A lie of politicians

A mass of Catholics

A murder of crows (one that is already existing)

An order of waiters

A parliament of owls (Who? Who!)

A pomposity of professors

A quiz of teachers

A rhyme of poets

A salon of poodles

A shit load of troubles (the story of my life especially this year)

A squint of proofreaders (haha!)

A stretch of giraffes

A sulk of teenagers

A superfluity of similes

A swarm of literary drones (Zzzz….)

A terror of terriers (as any cat knows)

A tick tock of clocks

A wiggle of Elvis Impersonators (Hahahaha!)

A wave of surfers

A wailing of weight watchers (sigh)


Have a nice day and may you never have enough of collective nouns!





About dada4nonsense

I am a 23 year old (at heart) who loves anything nonsensical

Posted on December 9, 2013, in Notes and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Comments Off on The collective noun of sperm.

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